For all those brides to be out there, this ones for you. I don’t normally express how much anxiety my upcoming wedding gives me. I feel like you have to be seen as constantly excited, but it’s so wrong. Since I hit the 1 year to go mark by anxiety & stress levels have went through the roof. I want to be excited. I am excited. But, you just can’t help thinking about all the tiny negative aspects of it.
I don’t come from a mega rich family so, it takes a lot of hard work to save money to pay for things. Don’t get me wrong, our families are saving hard too and if it wasn’t for there help we probably still wouldn’t have enough to get married. I just hate how much pressure weddings put on people, the real meaning behind a wedding often gets lost by overwhelming anxiety of how you’re going to afford everything. For instance, you order a special birthday cake and it won’t cost you more than £100 ( & that is if its mega fancy ), tell the company it’s for a wedding and BOOM, £400 added onto it just because. It’s crazy. I’m still having some sleepless nights worrying that it all won’t be paid in time, even though I know it will.
If I’m being honest I probably think about our wedding 1000000x times a day, but it’s not always happy thoughts. I constantly think about what other people will think. Will everyone like the venue? Will people like my dress? Will this person get on with this person? Can I invite this person If I don’t invite that person? ITS CONSTANT. Deep down I know I will never please everyone, and why should I? It’s our wedding, not theirs. But, it’s just the way my mind works. Or is it? Am I just totally influenced by what I see on the internet and magazines? The Glitz and the massive weddings. Once again, the real meaning of the day is being lost.
Oh, and don’t get me started on FAMILIES. I come from a separated family, and even though it was over 10 years ago since it all happened, I still fear the bitterness and resentment may arise on the day. I don’t want people to feel awkward around each other. I don’t want people to be drunk and say something nasty to someone else. Things happen for a reason, families change and people move on. But, there’s always one isn’t there? That one person you worry might open their mouth. But, then I think is it really only my family? NO. Families that aren’t split might even fight after a few glasses on wine. As long as I don’t know about it or hear about it on that day, ill be happy.
Our wedding venue is really perfect for us, its local, beautiful and reasonably priced for what you get. I have a lot of faith in the wedding planners to pull everything off on the day, but being a complete and utter control freak, I still can’t help but worry. What if they mix up the seating plan? Will they put the correct stuff on the tables? Will anything be lost or forgotten about? Will the cake be in the right place? IT NEVER ENDS. Honestly, why am I worry about all these stupid little things? At the end of the day, as long as the ceremony goes ahead and we end up MR & MRS, why should it matter if something isn’t perfect?
I hope I’m not along with all these worries, and I’m sure Im not. Maybe we should have just went away with a handful of our close family and got married? But, what little girl doesn’t dream about that big day, with the perfect dress and the perfect venue.
Until next time…