Good Evening folks!
Over the last few weeks I have spoken to people who have recently moved out from their parents home and ventured into the world, alone. It wasn’t until then that I realised how many of us secretly struggle to deal with the change, so I decided to tell you guys how it affected me. You never know, I might make someone feel a little bit better!
Its just short of 18 months since I flew the nest and went solo with Ross. We were extremely lucky that instead of having to rent for a few years we could go ahead and mortgage our own property. At 21, it’s not a common occurrence and you don’t realise how much of a big commitment it is until you’re signing on the dotted line to say your liable for thousands of pounds. We had wanted to get our own place for some time but our engagement in December 2015 hurried things along slightly. Applying for a mortgage has to be THE MOST stressful thing I’ve done in my life. Picking out a property then applying for the mortgage to then be denied. I’m not going to lie, it was extremely tough for us and took its toll. We thought we would never get anything because of our age and minimal credit history. However, my dad worked his magic and managed to get us approved. Wahhhoooo! I remember thinking “oh this is great, it’s going to be so much fun”. hahahahaha.
Ok, so maybe that sounded slightly harsh. But, it was only the beginning. March came along and we were handed the keys. We burst through the front door with so much excitement it may have looked slightly cringey. We had everything organised for the week ahead: painters, fitters and other deliveries. By the following weekend we were in, sitting on our new sofa eating Chinese take out drinking some cheap Prosecco. It was truly a good feeling, we were so proud.
As weeks went out teething problems started. I was slightly devastated to have left my dad, the home I had know for over 10 years. My dad is like my best friend and I felt part of me was missing. I cried going to bed, I cried at anything sad on TV, I cried at photographs – to be honest I cried at everything. It really was only natural though and Ross was a good support (guys are just different in that sense).
Ross and I hadn’t really ‘lived’ with each other for more than a week before we got the house and it was VERY HARD to adjust to living together full time. We just had never had too look at each other for this amount of time before and it was bloody weird. Everywhere we went we were with each other. No space except at work and it caused tension between us. Not because we didn’t love each other or we didn’t want to take this step, just because it was alien. Who was going to ignore the bin the longest? Who’s turn was it to wash the dishes? Who’s turn was it to clean the toilet? Who’s turn was it to empty the washing machine? The list goes on and on. The bickering went on for weeks and weeks until the point where we just exploded at each other. We got it all out. We talked about our frustrations and agreed to try and be more considerate of each other. And it worked (I still do the most housework but I shall give him some credit!).
Then came the stress of paying bills. Who knew how many extra bills you need when you buy a house! Sharing our income was hard for me (& still is) because I don’t earn as much as Ross and I struggled to feel that I was properly pulling my weight. I stressed about every little bit we spent, how much was going in and how much was going out. I was manic about checking the account to make sure everything was paid and we didn’t just suddenly wake up with nothing in our accounts (which has never happened in my whole life – weird). I think I will always have money anxiety. Its something built in me that I fear being left with nothing even though it’s technically impossible unless we completely blow all our money on crap. But, never the less its still an obstacle that people face when they move out.
Still to this day, sometimes my little heart aches for my old room. Where I could go into my own little bubble and watch tv and sit on my laptop for most of the night. But, I don’t think I could go back. Its been a tough year adapting to my new life but it’s got so many more positives that completely outweigh the issues I’ve spoke about.
If you’re struggling – keep going. It’s only going to get better. And trust me, he will eventually learn to take that bloody bin out!
Sweet dreams! X